ANDY MARTIN: A few undeniable facts:

Andy Martin was born in the East End of London in 1952.

He went to a grammar school in Essex.

He studied at Sussex University, King’s College, Cambridge and the Ecole Normale Supérieure in Paris.

He dreamed (briefly) of becoming surfing champion of the world.

He is a lecturer in French at Cambridge.

He is married to an Australian.

He is a vegetarian.

Unfortunately, he still supports West Ham United.

He is a roadie to his two musical sons.